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Mafia Gazette Past Issue 35
Tuesday 27th September 'COLD KILLER TAKES COLDICE ' Following on from yesterday’s story in the Gazette about the reception given to the Made Man, ColdIce, he finally lost his battle against the critics at ten minutes past eight this morning. There have been mixed reactions to this death with some being sorry to see him go, and others being more open about their feelings for the reclusive man who was seen as disrespectful by many. His family have all stated that he was a good boss, however as he was seldom seen out in the community, that is a judgement many are taking with a pinch of salt after his recent outbursts on the streets. Many of ColdIce’s former crew have also followed him into his grave as a hard-fought battle took place with many factions standing against the Cold Front family. The killer of the Made Man has been named as Snarl, one of many who had been shooting at the controversial choice of the Godfathers. It is hoped that we will see a replacement in the very near future. 'NOTES FROM THE ASYLUM #5 ' By: Lexicon I am BACK people! No irksome bug will keep me down for long, though it has prevented me from writing this column for a few days & getting one step closer to World domination via the Miss Mafia competition. Bah - Maybe next year. I Look SO good in a tiara. Recently at St. MZs: Welcome to the New! Improved! St. MoneyZeb's! Having received a number of complaints from the infirm amongst us who have found it difficult to navigate their way through the St.MZ entrance hall, a new St.MZs has been built. I shall miss whiling away the hours watching people trying to push open the main doors oblivious to the "PULL" sign. Nonetheless I am extremely excited about the new facility. During my recent "illness" St.MZs descended into a state of pandemonium. In recognition of his efforts to keep our friendly-neighbourhood crazies under control, I have invited TieDomiII to join the staff team. Henceforth, he shall be known as Dr. TieDomiII ATM. VPL. WTF. I am delighted to announce that the Woyald renowned Dr. Brookes MGM. ASL. PMS. has just joined the team also. She will be specialising in quiche and heading up a research unit investigating toast. 'MAFIA MUSE ' Musings Of A Mafioso New Item Street Boss dies. Member of his gang publicly accuses The Commission” of betrayal. Analysis One of “The Commission’s” most outspoken critics a Miss Barbie Dahl makes a statement at the Street Bosses funeral on behalf of a friend of a friend. Her statement names the killer and says justice was served. Is it just I? Or is “The Commission” being blamed for something that was outside of its control. The likelihood of a friend of Miss Dahl acting on behalf of “The Commission” is fairly remote on the surface. I may be wrong and if I am I’m sure it will be duly noted but that is just the way I see it. News Item A Made Man is attacked in the streets. He replies in kind trying to answer his critics. Analysis We expect a lot from our leaders, not only must they look out for what’s best for their own family, we as a society expect the leadership to extend to our full society. Of course their first priority must be to stay alive. Yes there is honour in fighting the good fight and dying but it’s hell on maintaining a current spot in the hierarchy of our society. So a balance must be found. You can’t please everyone and the leader that attempts that will be shot down for being wishy-washy. (Bet you never thought a Mafioso would use those words) But if you are too opinionated you had better be able to defend yourself both verbally and physically. I agree the young man has made some mistakes and he may very well pay the ultimate price for those mistakes however, lets remember he made an effort to answer his critics and perhaps his off-spring may become a better leader from the lessons he is learning. Oh and one more thing, please do not belittle a person if English is their second language. It is a difficult language to master and we certainly are not all scholarly linguists. 'JOURNAL OF A LOST MAN ' Dear Journal, Its September 26th. I get to go home today, after six years. To be honest, I still can't remember what happened that day. I was found guilty by insanity, and was sentenced six years in the asylum. God, how I miss the smell of fresh air, a home cooked meal, a room that doesn't require carpet on all the walls. Well journal, I would say I would return to my loving wife and two sons, but that’s why I was in this God forsaken place. I was convicted of Murder in the first on all three accounts. Even though I don't remember most of that day. They said I pushed my wife during an argument and her head landed on a bedside table bashing her head in. Then they said I proceeded to the bathroom where my youngest was bathing, they presumed I held him by the back of the neck underwater until he stopped moving. My eldest was found outside on the walkway leading to the house. He was under his own bedroom window, they said I pushed him out it. I don't remember, I can't remember any of it. I can remember blacking out that morning, then waking up when the police arrived. All the evidence pointed to me, and without me being able to recall my memories of that awful day, who’s to say I didn't do it? All I know is when I'm on the outside; I hope I can get some answers. Well, the guard is here to escort me through the gates. I guess this is it. Lets see what will happen... *Rips the page out of the journal and lets it float out the window on the wind* Dear Carmela, I have seen something on the streets that just makes me want to throw up. More than half of our community was seen kissing the ass of our second MadeMan. Yes, It's exciting that this world is going somewhere finally. But when the man comes on the streets three times and proves each time that he is not worthy of our respect because clearly he was dropped on his head a child several times....and yet, People still kiss his ass. And now, he's dead. And instead of saying the truth "You were not fit for the title of MadeMan and those who-errs did us a favor", they continue on with the classic ass kissing of "You were destined for something great" and "You were our last chance". Get over it folks, He wasn’t going to save our streets. He wasn’t going to bring change or progression. Hell he couldn’t even bring good grammar examples. There are people who automatically get respect from people. And Trust me folks, they don’t deserve it. Just remember, Respect is earned not just handed out like VD at a whore house. So other than being a "monkey with a gun" What did ColdIce do to deserve our respect? Think about that... Yours always and forever, Cooter J. Poo 'WE HEAR THAT… ' Gossip column by: Trixie ....RTLwannaBE is getting more than he bargained for when his parents named him. He figured he would just be a well-respected man, who occasionally had to shoot things. ha! Boy was he wrong. Apparently RTL had a secret, dirty, dirty life. Doing what you as? Pig Wrestling. Poor RTLwannaBE, We wish him luck with his Swine. ....MadDog was seen coming out of one of LA's first plastic surgery offices with a face covered in bandages. Perhaps he's taking steps to preserve that pretty face of his? Or maybe he just got sick of all that money burning a hole in his pocket and figured he wanted to look like Vito Capone. ....Thanatos has a not so secret hamster fetish. after entering the gates of hamster land, he squealed with joy and demanded to go to the petting zoo where he could pet them. Gwendolyn had no idea what his intentions were, and blindly lead him to the touching, erm, petting zoo. If Gwen hadn't taken a wrong turn a lot of her Hamsters would be very violated right now. Please folks, keep all fuzzy small rodents and woodland creatures away from Thanatos. Thanks 'OBITUARIES FOR SEP 26TH - SEP 27TH ' ColdIce- Died late last night after a long battle. Many mourners attended the funeral NOODLES-Died today while trying to buy as gun from an undercover Fed. During the service there was mixed emotions on this subject. Some people believed that it was a glorious day, while others thought it was a day of mourning. IzzyCreamCheese-Could this one be genuine, or someone claiming the bloodline? Well anyway, he died while mugging people. Its a sad day when people use a great man's identity to do such cowardly acts. AGhostlyApparition-Died yesterday when apparently a mix up was made and the legend AGA was shot down. 'CLASSIFIEDS ' Anyone wishing to place an ad should send it in to CarmelaDeAngelis at the Gazette Offices in Chicago. All ads are free, but must still fall within the set guidelines. 16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC) Rap Battles being held at The 313, in LA. Hosted by Stan Vistalaino. Will start on Wednesday, should enough people enter. Reply to Stanley_Vistalaino Prize for winning is 50k 16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC) hitman for hire call chris123mafia for details 16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC) The Starlight Pub- NY If you have ever been to the city you know how the lights block out any chance of ever seeing a shooting star. Well at Starlight Pub, we bring the outdoors inside! So Stop by, look up, and make a wish. Our adress is as follows. http://www.mafia.org/m2/comm-readpost.php?bar&id=6634 16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC) Finding Neverland- NY A bar that appears to be out of a fairytale. And the only place in NY where you can see Thanatos in a ballgown! Stop in today for a free pint on us! The Bar can be located at the following adress in NY city. http://www.mafia.org/m2/comm-readpost.php?bar&id=1067 16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC)Hice19 (talk) 16:36, January 5, 2013 (UTC) ---Horses For Sale--- Bad Engine 750,000 Slippery Momma 100,000 Both Are Good Money Earners Contact Buckshot ... Price Negotiable !!! 'Anyone wishing to submit articles should do so by 10am Mafia time on the day of publications. Articles will be paid for on an individual basis. Please contact CarmelaDeAngelis, Editor of The Mafia Gazette, at the Gazette Offices, Chicago. All articles must conform to the guidelines available in the booklet “Newspaper Recruiting” available on the newsstand. ' http://pvp.a.mafia.org/gazette.php?issue=43